February 12, 2019 at 11:52AM by CWC
After a seriously tumultuous 2018, Ariana Grande is basically a phoenix emerging from flames. She lost her ex Mac Miller to overdose and called off her whirlwind engagement to Pete Davidson, but she never stopped pushing out empowering bops like it’s her job (which, uh, I guess it is). That’s why this Valentine’s Day, there’s nobody better to look up to than the “thank u, next” singer, who’s basically the walking embodiment of self love. Here are some great, Grande-approved ways to be your own Valentine in 2019.
Be so grateful for your ex (or at least learn from the pain)
In reality, moving on from someone isn’t as simple as “thank u, next.” I have trouble with it every day, and I’m not even at war with any of my past flings. I mean, okay, some can definitely go to hell, but I rationally understand there’s a good reason why I’m not with any of them. And since that truth is steadfast, I can find some gratitude for my exes’ roles in our relationships ending—none of them were meant to be my destiny.
If gratitude is out of your grasp, maybe look more to the “one taught me love, one taught me patience, and one taught me pain” side of things. Even if more of your situations lean toward “pain,” every relationship is a learning experience and opportunity for growth.
Try this Ari-inspired exercise when you examine a failed relationship: Pause and ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” Usually there will be something that speaks to the strength of your character or quality judgement calls. Then, move on from thinking about it, at least for that moment.
Buy yourself some of your favorite things
My closet—fine, clothing rack—has always pointed to my affinity of some good, old-fashioned retail therapy, and Grande’s “7 Rings” is all about leaning into exactly that. You see it, you like it, you want it, you got it. Easy enough, and spending a little (keyword: little) money on yourself can be a good short-term mood-booster. Even buying boring utilitarian products when you’re stressed can help you feel more in control.
Furthermore, you can spread the wealth to your Galentines—AKA the people who will love you unconditionally. Ariana’s move is to, “buy matching diamonds for six of my bitches,” but Ring Pops also hold the power to make a gal feel special. Or, if you’re rich in free time, pull a Leslie Knope and write your friends 500-word essays about why they’re one-of-kind.
Don’t neglect real therapy, either
When celebrities get real about their mental health, it’s great for general destigmatization of common issues so many face. Grande has shared about her struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following the horrific Manchester Arena bombing during one of her shows, and she’s also been vocal about the benefits of therapy.
In fact, when one Twitter user (ostensibly) joked, “who is ariana’s therapist and are they accepting new clients,” she released “thank u next,” Grande used it as an opportunity to talk mental health.
“lmaoaoo this is funny as f*ck but in all honesty, therapy has saved my life so many times,” she wrote. “If you’re afraid to ask for help, don’t be. u don’t have to be in constant pain & u can process trauma. i’ve got a lot of work to do but it’s a start to even be aware that it’s possible.”
No words, just praise-hands emoji to that.
Above all, validate yourself as much as possible
I mean geez, if I were Ariana Grande, I don’t know how I’d keep my ponytailed head up above the constant waves of negativity—on Twitter and elsewhere. But one of the major keys to her success might be her ability to gas herself up.
“Thank u, next,” is filled with platitudes about how Ari loves Ari and only wants the best for her. Sure, one undertone is “I have better discussions with myself than the last person I was with, and when I get married, it’ll be for only the right reasons.” But another totally valid simultaneous undertone is “my gloss is poppin’.”
The point? You—yes, you!—turned out amazing. So, remind yourself of that to ensure a very Grande Valentine’s Day full of self-love.