September 13, 2019 at 03:00PM by CWC
“When do you like to bang?” is probably not a question you were expecting to get asked today (or maybe you were, IDK your life), but here we are. Just like people like different things in bed, they also like to get it on at different times of the day. Sorry for distracting you at work, but think about your favorite time to have sex. Maybe you’re especially horny in the morning right before work, or 10 p.m. is your go-time. It’s all normal! But the time you like to have sex can tell a lot about your personality.
Morning sex people tend to be more introverted, and prefer long-term, monogamous relationships while night people are more chill about casual sex and tend to be more extraverted, writes David Ludden, PhD, for Psychology Today. But I think we can break it down even further.
Here’s what the time of day you like to do it says about you:
Early morning (like, really early)
If it’s during the week, amazing. Bang it out before work. Respect. But if you love super early morning sex on the weekends, I have questions. Are you setting an alarm? Do you naturally get up at this time? But props for keeping a consistent sleep schedule because I never can. Clearly you have a nighttime ritual that helps you fall asleep—journaling is involved.
You think liking dogs is a personality, and 100 percent have the VSCO app on your phone. My read on this is that you’re the kind of person who drafts text messages in your Notes app before sending them. (No shade, I do that too.) Your skin care routine has been described as “elaborate.” You’re really into succulents.
You’re probably a freelancer with a flexible schedule, or you’re one of the people who actually takes an hour for lunch (though you don’t use it for, well, lunch). There’s something about the thrill of having sex at a time where most people are in an office that makes you feel alive.
Late afternoon sex
You are incredibly practical, and I respect that. You know that there are many things that could go wrong post-dinner: feeling too full, lots of cruciferous vegetables involved, etc.—so you plan ahead and get it on before dinner. Your text messages are green, because “actually Androids have a better operating system than iPhones.”
Congratulations, this is the correct answer.
Sex after 2:00 a.m.
This is also known as being single in Los Angeles. You give great advice to others, but completely ignore it for yourself. There’s definitely either a Blood Orange playlist in the background while you have sex. (Their choice, not yours, but you don’t mind it.) Either you have mild insomnia or you don’t mind sacrificing sleep for sex. You also never hang up your clothes, and instead leave them in piles around your apartment. Your phone battery is always at 10 percent.
Or perhaps you’re just a night owl. I’m guessing you didn’t want to be into Bachelor In Paradise, but your friend insisted that you watch and now you’ve spent hours catching up on everyone’s backstories. (Mike is your favorite.)
Now that you’ve got sex on the brain, here’s how to sharpen each of your senses for better sexual pleasure. And here’s a sex expert’s advice for spicing things up in bed.