Diary of Daisy: My Journey to Motherhood (7th – 13th October)

Monday, 7th October: A New Start, A Renewed Focus

The week begins with a mix of determination and a hint of anxiety. As I lay in bed this morning, I found myself thinking about how far we’ve come in this journey. Time has flown by so quickly, and it feels like every month brings new emotions, new hopes, and sometimes, new disappointments. It’s hard not to get caught up in the “what ifs” and the timelines we put on ourselves. We set these invisible deadlines, and when things don’t go according to plan, we blame ourselves. 💭

Today, though, I made a conscious decision to focus on self-compassion. I reminded myself that every journey is different, and there’s no perfect timeline for becoming a mother. I started the day with some light yoga, breathing deeply through stretches and reminding myself that patience is key. After that, I spent a good 30 minutes journaling, pouring out my feelings and letting them flow onto the page. It felt good to get everything out in writing – almost like lifting a weight off my shoulders.

At work, I threw myself into a project that has been keeping me busy for the last few weeks. It was a welcome distraction, and for a few hours, I was able to focus entirely on something outside of my own thoughts. It’s funny how work can sometimes be a form of therapy. Later, my husband and I had a long chat about our goals and where we see ourselves in the next few months. We’re both feeling a bit more at peace after talking it out. There’s comfort in knowing we’re in this together, even when things feel uncertain. 🌱

Tuesday, 8th October: Facing the Tough Days

Today was a tough one. The kind of day where I woke up already feeling heavy, as if the weight of everything was pressing down on me before I even had a chance to take a breath. Maybe it’s the hormones, or maybe it’s just one of those days where the reality of this journey feels a bit more overwhelming than usual. Either way, I couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment, and it followed me like a cloud throughout the day. 💧

At lunch, I decided to take a walk to clear my head. I needed to get away from my desk, away from the routine of the day, and just be alone with my thoughts. As I walked through the park near my office, I found myself watching the children playing on the swings and running around in the crisp autumn air. A wave of sadness hit me as I thought about how much I want to be in that stage of life – to have a child of my own, to experience those small but beautiful moments of parenthood. It was hard to push those feelings away.

But then, as I continued walking, I reminded myself that this journey is teaching me something important: patience and resilience. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. It’s okay to have days like this, where the weight of it all feels a bit too much. Tonight, I took a long, warm bath and allowed myself to just feel everything. I didn’t push the emotions away or try to force myself to be positive. I just let it all be. Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m hopeful it will be better.

Wednesday, 9th October: A Light at the End of the Tunnel

After yesterday’s emotional day, today felt lighter – like a breath of fresh air. I had a scheduled meeting with my mentor, someone who has always been a source of support and encouragement for me. As we sat down to chat, I shared some of what I’ve been going through lately, and to my surprise, she opened up about her own experiences with fertility challenges. 💕

It was a conversation I didn’t expect to have, but it was exactly what I needed. Hearing her story reminded me that everyone’s path is different, and that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood or life in general. Her advice was simple but powerful: “Take it one day at a time and trust that the right things will happen when they’re meant to.” It was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. I left our meeting feeling lighter, as if a small part of the burden I’d been carrying had been lifted.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. After work, I made a healthy dinner – something I’ve been trying to do more of lately. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I’m taking care of myself, both physically and mentally. My husband and I spent the evening together, laughing about something silly we saw online, and for a few moments, everything felt simple and easy. Those moments of joy are what keep me going, even when the journey feels long.

Thursday, 10th October: A Moment of Gratitude

I woke up feeling a little more refreshed today. There’s something about starting the day with a clear head that makes everything feel more manageable. I decided to do a morning meditation session, focusing specifically on gratitude. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of trying to conceive, but today I wanted to take a few moments to appreciate what I do have. 🌻

I focused on my health – the fact that my body is strong and capable. I focused on my supportive partner, who has been by my side through every up and down. And I focused on the progress we’re making, even if it doesn’t always feel like progress. These small moments of gratitude are what keep me grounded, reminding me that there’s so much to be thankful for, even on the difficult days.

At work, things were busy, but in a good way. I found myself immersed in my tasks, which helped keep my mind occupied and distracted from the bigger worries. It felt good to be productive, to feel like I was accomplishing something tangible. In the evening, we watched a movie together – something light and funny. For the first time in a while, I was able to just relax and enjoy the moment without overthinking the future. It’s good to have these moments of peace, where everything feels okay, even if just for a little while.

Friday, 11th October: A Fresh Perspective

Today felt like a fresh start. I woke up after a solid night’s sleep, feeling more rested and positive than I have in days. The world outside looked brighter, and I decided to embrace this feeling of renewal. At lunch, I met up with a close friend – someone I’ve known for years and who knows me better than most. 🍽️

We talked about everything under the sun, except for baby plans. And honestly, it was such a relief. Sometimes I get so caught up in this journey that I forget there’s more to life than just trying to conceive. It was refreshing to have a conversation about other things – to laugh and joke and feel like myself again, without the constant worry hovering over me.

My friend reminded me that it’s important to take time for myself and to keep doing things that bring me joy outside of this journey. She’s right. I need to remember that I’m not defined by this one aspect of my life. In the evening, I spent some time reading a book I’ve been meaning to start for a while. It was nice to get lost in someone else’s story for a change. 🌱

Saturday, 12th October: Reconnecting with Nature

What a beautiful Saturday! The weather was perfect – crisp but sunny, with the autumn leaves in full display. We decided to take advantage of the day and go for a hike in the nearby hills. There’s something about being in nature that always helps me reset, both mentally and physically. 🌳

As we hiked, I found myself taking in the vibrant colours of the changing leaves – the deep oranges, reds, and yellows. It was a reminder that everything in life has its seasons, its cycles of growth and change. Just like the seasons, my journey is constantly evolving, and even though it feels slow at times, I know progress is happening, even if I can’t always see it.

We stopped for a picnic halfway through the hike, sitting on a blanket and enjoying the quiet stillness of the moment. I felt so grateful for this little escape – a chance to step away from the stress and just be present. By the time we got home, I felt rejuvenated. The journey may be long, but days like this remind me that there’s beauty to be found in the present moment.

Sunday, 13th October: Reflecting on Growth

Today was a quiet day, perfect for reflection. I spent the morning journaling again, writing down my hopes for the future but also taking stock of how much I’ve grown since this journey began. 🌈 It’s not always easy to see progress when you’re in the middle of it, but when I look back, I can see how much stronger and more resilient I’ve become. There’s so much growth happening, even if it’s not the kind I can measure.

In the afternoon, I took another walk, this time through our neighbourhood. It was a peaceful walk, the kind that allows you to clear your head and just be. I found myself thinking about how this journey isn’t just about reaching the destination – it’s about everything I’m learning along the way. The lessons, the challenges, the moments of joy – they’re all shaping me into the person I’m meant to be.

As the evening came to a close, I felt a sense of calm wash over me. I’m learning to trust the timing of my life, even when it doesn’t look the way I imagined. There’s peace in knowing that everything will unfold as it’s meant to, in its own time. For now, I’m choosing to focus on the present, and for that, I’m grateful.