
August 14, 2019 at 04:00PM by CWC
Iâm convinced that one of most cringeworthy feelings that can be experienced in life comes as a result of going in for a hug and being met with a handshake from the other person. Take a second now to imagine those uncomfortable fragments of a second when the handshakerâs arm sort of snakes into an adjusted position that could lend itself to either greeting, until one gesture inevitably wins out. Makes your skin crawl, right? While there are so many different ways of saying hi, hugging and handshakes tend to simply not mix, and the overarching reason for this may well have to do with the two tendencies reflecting very different personality types.
While thereâs no one explanation for how someone ends up as a hugger or a handshaker, but the way youâre socialized certainly plays in. One 2012 study published in Comprehensive Psychology asserts that how we react to physical touch is âis an important element in a childâs emotional upbringing,â and can influence our behaviors into adulthood. For instance, if your childhood resembled a string of Full House episodes, youâre likely to be a big-time hugger in adulthood. And if your childhood was all about the stiff upper lip, you may not be so inclined to show affection upfront. So regardless of your preference for ways of saying hi, you can feel okay about foisting at least some blame on your parents.
And if your greeting style doesnât fall in either category? Well, given that Iâm an ever-so-opinionated people-watcher, I Iâm a great source for outlining how different ways of saying hi say can reflect someoneâs personality. Check them out below:
Hug
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You approach life with an open heart and open arms. You skew extroverted and nearly always seem to be smiling. While all of this is great, you could certainly stand to sharpen your skills for reading peopleâbecause not all people are thrilled to receive hugs.
Handshake
Many interpret this gesture as very formal and businesslike, and sometimes thatâs exactly what it is. I donât go on job interviews giving out giant bear hugs, will-nilly, and I donât know anyone else who does. If your default move is a handshake, that hardly brands you a cold, formal freak. Rather, all it really means is that any kind of intimate greeting (where you get close enough to smell someone) has to be really, really earned.
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Side-hug
The side-hug cuts out bit of awkwardness that might be sustained from offering a hug that gets denied, but thatâs only because itâs super-casual and noncommittalâeven if itâs well-thought-out and planned. Any way you slice it, a side-hug doesnât mean too much, and thatâs by design. Itâs best used when a handshake feels too formal, but you donât feel a full-fledged hug is totally appropriate in the given circumstance. A side-hug means youâve made a lot of compromises with the universe, and this is where you feel comfortable landing.
High five
If side-hugs are quietly awkward, high fives are a high-energy, bro-y breed of awkward. There needs to be a reason for invoking the high fiveâand simply meeting up with a friend for happy hour isnât a good one. High fives are best reserved for workout classes, when the instructor asks you to high five your neighbor. In fact, I canât think of any non-athletic environment where a high five is an acceptable greeting style.
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Wave
Youâre very, very shy and are doing your best to be friendly. Some may describe you as a âcutie pie.â Though it may seem strange to try and communicate a hello without any verbal context, a little wave sends a clear message of, âI happily acknowledge your presence but I need a hula-hoopâs radius worth of personal space until we become better friends.â
Nod
You are one of two heterosexual men who are acknowledging each otherâs presence while honoring your extreme fear of showing anything that might resemble affection. Or, you just ran into one of your high school classmates at your hometown bookstore and this is a way easier way out than giving in to a real conversation. Nodding means youâre expressing dominance and not committing to a more vulnerable hello. Itâs a power move.
Clasp your hands and repeat the other personâs name with so much emotion
Of all the ways of saying hi, this one is reserved for meeting someone youâve heard so much great stuff about before the run-in. In this context, it makes a lot of sense to bask in the moment of the divine union, with an elaborate response like this one. And if this is a common greeting you lean on for addressing your sister and barista alike, please DM me. Iâm genuinely curious about your non-discerning enthusiasm.
Air-kiss on both cheeks
This pretentious gesture makes no sense unless youâre very European or super rich. So, if youâre doing a double-kiss in the States, chances are youâre an influencer channeling the certain je ne seis quoi of a first-class-flying socialite. But, IMHO? Just donât do it. Zero ways of saying hi are less sincere.
Kiss on the cheek
If you start kissing people on the cheek as a hello, congratulations: You are a full-grown, classy adult woman. I donât mean to be ageist, but I do find that as you get older, kissing on the cheek for a hello becomes increasingly less weird. Thereâs a reason itâs the go-to greeting for aunts everywhere, after all.
Now that weâre clear on what your preferred greeting style says about you, hereâs what to know about email sign-offs. And if youâre firmly on Team Hug, here are the health benefits you can get from embracing a loved one.
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Anya Hindmarch - I AM A PLASTIC BAGAuthor Mary Grace Garis | Well and Good
Selected by CWC
Totally True! You can know so much about a person by this, and different cultures play a role as well. I’m originally from Lebanon. There, to greet adults (aunts etc) in a formal way we use the air kiss on both cheeks ( 3 times, otherwise you will be considered impolite LOL), but to greet our close friends of course we use the hug. Loved the post, thanks for sharing!